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Topic: Laptops but no beards for new hermits in Italy (Read 1101 times) |
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Blunderov
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Laptops but no beards for new hermits in Italy
« on: 2008-03-13 07:27:30 » |
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[Blunderov] When I was a child I was fascinated by the tale of a hermit who lived in the wilds of the then Eastern Transvaal. It was said that he had survived the 2nd WW and after demobilisation his disgust with humanity was so complete that he resolved never to associate with it again. I recall seeing him once - a gaunt and glaring figure who inhabited a crooked wooden hut that was entirely surrounded by chickens.
Meanwhile somewhere in a cave back in Italy... apparently hermits are quite a sociable lot these days.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/mar/13/italy?gusrc=rss&feed=networkfront
Laptops but no beards for new hermits in Italy
Tom Kington in Rome
The Guardian, Thursday March 13 2008
This article appeared in the Guardian on Thursday March 13 2008 on p19 of the International section. It was last updated at 01:15 on March 13 2008.
Italy correspondent Tom Kington on why Catholics are signing up to be hermits
They no longer sit cross-legged in caves, on mountain tops or even in bustling city centres, but hermits are making a comeback in Italy after disappearing early in the last century, a study has claimed.
The archetypal long, unkempt beards are also out of style, the study's author discovered, since the majority of the 150 or so Catholic hermits now holed up in Italy in search of inner peace are women.
Barbara, a painter, and Valentina, a former modern art dealer, were among those interviewed by Isacco Turina, a sociologist at the University of Bologna, who tracked down 37 hermits, 21 of whom were women. Most were well educated and had decided on a life of prayer, penance and seclusion as they hit middle age.
The majority were former clergy or missionaries. "The number of women reflects the amount of ex-nuns who have sought out a degree of autonomy in life that they could not find before," said Turina.
Regarded as precursors of the monastic orders, hermits spread across Europe in the dark ages. The hermitic way almost disappeared a century ago before making a comeback in the 1960s, he said. Formal recognition of hermits was granted by the Vatican in 1983 to those who "devote their life to the praise of God and salvation of the world through a stricter separation from the world". Today bishops will consecrate new hermits in return for vows of chastity, poverty and obedience.
"Not everyone applies for this licence from the bishop, but if you do, you also need to agree your new prayer regime with him," said Turina. "You then reduce your contacts with society, although you can meet people for spiritual dialogue."
Carlo, a psychiatrist turned hermit in Padua, receives 10 visitors a day.
Turina said abandoned churches were often taken over by hermits, with Tuscany a popular destination - although some were happy to live amid the "loneliness" of big cities. Ex-clergy could often bank on support from their diocese, while lay hermits could rely on pensions or handicraft work carried out between prayers.
"Some are equipped with internet, which doesn't necessarily disqualify you," said Turina. "It's like meeting people. You do it within a spiritual framework."
One American website, Raven's Bread, caters to hermits with a bulletin board, an online newsletter and reading list including the Rules for Hermits.
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Hermit
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Re:Laptops but no beards for new hermits in Italy
« Reply #1 on: 2008-03-13 17:36:17 » |
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For some reason, the idea of "Nuns without beards" caught my attention. Images not dissimilar to the following seized my brain.
But where was the habit, the wimple, the leather corset, and such forth?
A little googling yielded a wealth of interesting but decidedly NOT worksafe sites worth browsing for unbearded nuns. For example here http://eroticnuns.com/menu.html, here http://www.nunwhores.com/ and even here, a site apparently dedicated to fucking nuns http://www.depravedlust.com/naughty-nuns/ - as well as a blogger http://sexyredheadednuns.org/.
From this brief Internet survey, it appears that bearded nuns are in the minority, so the lack of beards in female hermits is possibly not all that surprising.
For a brutally gross joke on the same lines, keep reading.
A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."
The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."
The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."
The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."
The way the act unfolds is we hire actual nuns to play the part of, well... nuns. No one can play a nun like a nun. We trick them into auditioning by telling them they will be extras for "The Sound of Music." Meanwhile we get a release form to allow Ted Bundy to appear for one-night only. Finally, we cast the rest of the production with my family. My son, daughter, wife and my dog, "Rusty."
Now, on opening night the curtain comes up as the orchestra begins to play "Total Eclipse of the Sun" by Bonnie Tyler. The curtain comes up to reveal the nuns, four of them, standing center stage with my family on either side of them. I start by taking my wife by her waist and swinging her around to the music. Within moments I have her undressed and I start to fondle her breasts while my son slides under one of the nuns habits. I lay my wife on the stage and roll her over and start to slam my cock into her ass.
As she starts to scream my daughter goes up to one of the nuns and starts to French kiss her. Instead of fighting the urge, the nun reaches into my daughter’s shirt and rolls her nipples between her fingers. They both lay on the floor as "Rusty" begins to lick the nun's shaved vagina. They wriggle on the floor as I continue to fuck my wife in the ass.
Finally, the last nun, feeling left out takes off her clothes and lays in front of my wife as she pushes her face into her hairy bush. They all squirm on the floor as the music climaxes.
Then, enter STAGE LEFT: Ted Bundy. A bit confused but hungry, grabs my son and tears into his arm as he licks his lips and makes his way over to my daughter. She's too tired to fight as he rips her stomach open and spills her guts all over the stage. The nun screams and Bundy cracks her in the head. Bundy then comes over to the nun my wife is performing cunnilingus on and he bites her face off as she orgasms. He spits out her features and, looking into the audience, runs off stage in fear. I finally ejaculate on my wife's back as the song ends and the curtain drops.
For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"
And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"
Eric C Lindstrom's "That's a nun-believable act!" Aristocrats Joke
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With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion. - Steven Weinberg, 1999
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