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If Bush goes, I go
By Mark Steyn
http://www.spectator.co.uk/article.php?id=5167&page=1What's up with Hawaii? Two polls in two Honolulu newspapers
over the weekend showed George W. Bush with a small lead over
John Kerry. That's not supposed to be happening. Hawaii's solidly
Democrat. It's a swing state only in the sense noted by Elvis
(˜And when she starts to sway/I gotta say/She really moves the
grass around'). Neither candidate has bothered looking in on the
joint, or even advertising there. Instead, Senator Kerry's been
frantically bouncing around the Great Lakes - Ohio, Michigan,
Wisconsin. It's gonna kill him if he's got to zip halfway across the
Pacific every other day to shore up his base with a hastily
arranged coconut-shooting expedition on the beach at Waikiki.
One poll would have been easy to dismiss. But two make a trend.
And so, for Bush, as the old song says, 'Hello, Hawaii, How Are
Ya?' Whereas for Kerry, as the even older song says - 1878,
written by Queen Liliuokalani - it's 'Aloha Oe, or Farewell To
Thee'. Since joining the Union, Hawaii has voted for the
Democrat presidential nominee by some of the largest margins in
the land every election day except two: in 1972 they went for
Nixon and in 1984 for Reagan. So one could argue, as some
psephologists are doing, that this is in line with Hawaii's tendency
to vote for Republicans when they're incumbents (George Bush Sr
being the exception to that rule).
But I wonder if something else isn't going on here. Hawaii is,
constitutionally, an American state but, geographically, it's a
bunch of remote islands in the middle of the Pacific. The
distinction is often noted the other way round: on September 11,
we heard a lot about how this was the first attack on 'the
American mainland' in two centuries - i.e., excluding Pearl
Harbor. But perhaps Hawaiians are sensing their distance from the
mainland: perhaps events that seem relatively remote from
Massachusetts - the Bali bombing, say - resonate more strongly
if you're working at a beach hotel in Maui. According to the
Honolulu Star-Bulletin's poll, while Caucasians split more or less
evenly for Bush and Kerry, Filipino-Americans prefer the
President by 56 to 36 per cent: could that be connected with the
ongoing Islamist subversion of the Philippines?
This is all pure speculation on my part, mainly because the editor
turned down my request to spend ten days on a fact-finding
mission to this critical battleground resort ...er, state. Nonetheless,
Bush's last- minute Filipino fillip in the Pacific is typical of
several curious aspects of this campaign that are difficult to
explain according to the usual presidential rules. While I'm
yelling, 'Wake up and smell the coconut milk', Democrats are
pointing to record levels of voter registration which they claim
portends a massive youth vote against Bush. Isn't that what
Howard Dean was banking on just before the Iowa caucus?
Unfortunately, they never showed up. As I remarked at the time, a
lot of the excitable youthful Deaniacs lost their enthusiasm when
they discovered that you couldn't cast your vote by leaving it in
the comments section on Howard's blog.
As if to demonstrate the meaninglessness of their game, last week
the pollsters at Harris released their latest findings in two
versions. Using the model of likely voters that proved accurate in
2000, Bush led Kerry by 51 to 43. However, if you discard that
model and use some new model factoring in a lot of folks who
didn't bother to vote in 2000, Bush leads Kerry only by 48 to 46.
Which is accurate? The first? The second? Neither? Harris can't
say. Is there a third model that shows Kerry leading by 73 to 26?
Doubtful. If there was, some pollster would surely have come up
with it by now. Maybe some other model entirely is the one to
use, but it seems unlikely any one will devise it before next
Tuesday.
So my hunch that that first Harris poll is the correct one is only
that - a hunch that Bush is ahead outside the margin of error.
Unfortunately, on election day, he also has to be ahead outside the
margin of lawyer, which is a tougher call. The Democrats already
have thousands of chad-chasers circling the courthouses in
Florida, Ohio, New Mexico and even New Hampshire, alas. It's
important for Bush to win big enough both to compensate for
Democrat fraud and to deter litigation.
In lively elections such as this the media usually run endless
features on 'angry white men', a demographic to which they're
not notably partial. After 'angry white men' threw out the
Democrats' congressional leadership in the 1994 elections, Peter
Jennings, the exquisitely condescending Canadian who anchors
ABC News, sniffed that 'the voters had a temper tantrum'. But
this time round the angry white men are all on the Democrat side,
and the media seem to think it's perfectly normal.
The other night, for example, Lawrence O'Donnell, MSNBC's
'Senior Political Analyst' (i.e., Democrat hack), discussed John
Kerry with John O'Neill, spokesman for Swift Boat Veterans for
Truth. This is a flavour of the senior political analysis offered by
the Senior Political Analyst, although for the full effect of his
shrieking over Mr O'Neill's attempted answers you really need
the big 72-inch screen with quadraphonic surround-sound ranting
and digital-quality close-up of his facial contortions:
"That's a lie, John O'Neill! Keep lying, it's all you do!... Lies!...
That's a lie! It's another lie! That's a lie! Absolute lie!... You're
just lying...It's a pack of lies!... He just lied to you! He spews out
this filth!... You liar!... You just spew lies!... I just hate the lies of
John O'Neill. I hate lies...O'Neill's a liar, he's been a liar for 35
years...They lied!... Lies! Just tell me the initials, you liar! Creepy
liar!..."
Etc.
A day after this calm measured display of quiet confidence in
Senator Kerry's campaign, his fellow MSNBC honcho, ol'
Pitchfork Pat Buchanan, read a prepared statement by the network
apologising for its senior analyst going bananas. Out on the street,
meanwhile, angry white men have burgled Republican offices in
Spokane, Washington; lobbed cinder blocks through Republican
offices in Flagstaff, Arizona; shot up Republican offices in
Knoxville, Tennessee; assaulted female Republican students
handing out flyers at the Gophers football game in Minnesota; and
are currently bullying early voting Republicans at polling booths
in Florida. If this campaign went on another two months, they'd
be seizing GOP county chairmen and beheading them on video.
As it is, if Bush wins by a few hundred in Ohio or New Mexico,
these fellows don't seem inclined to take it lying down.
I say 'angry white men' because it's not clear that the Democrats'
ethnic constituencies - blacks and Hispanics - have the Bush
Derangement Syndrome to quite the same degree. In 2000, Bush
got just 9 per cent of the black vote. Recent polls show he's
pulling about 18 per cent. If that holds up on election day, John
Kerry's finished. It will also be interesting to see whether Bush
can peel away any significant chunk of the hitherto loyally
Democrat Jewish vote. Given that he's already damned as a tool
of the Jews by such star ignoramuses of British diplomacy as Sir
Ivor Roberts, Her Majesty's man in Rome, and Sir Crispin Tickell
in these very pages, the least the sinister Hebrews could do is
show a little more enthusiasm for their puppet in the voting booth.
Just a small per cent in the right place - retirees in New Mexico,
for example - would pay off very nicely.
It seems unlikely to me that we're in for another nail-biter of a
chad-dangler. It would be astonishing if, after all the epochal
events of the first term, it all comes down to a 270-268 squeaker
in the electoral college - as if the waters of the mighty storm of
the last three years had briefly subsided to reveal the landscape
utterly unchanged. Most presidential elections aren't close and,
for all the talk of the 50/50 nation, it's not quite that even a divide:
in the 2002 House races, the Republicans took 53.4 per cent, the
Democrats 46.6 per cent. A small sliver of voters concluded that,
though we live in interesting times, the Dems have nothing
interesting to say and parked their votes elsewhere. The polls
didn't pick up that trend until the results started coming in on
election night.
The question now is whether the electorate is closer to the 2002 or
the 2000 model. Andrew Sullivan and the other moulting hawks
claim that, whatever his inner agonising, a President Kerry will
have no choice but to fight the war on terror as robustly - if more
smartly and multilaterally - than Bush. This rather overlooks the
fact that the strongest force in global affairs is inertia. It seems
most probable that, underneath the newly restored polite veneer of
international relations, everyone's attention will wander and the
league of nuclear rogue states will expand and so will the list of
freelance players in their Rolodexes; and, while John's hosting
Jacques at some summit to celebrate the new Franco-American
entente, something will happen and we'll have to learn the lessons
of 9/11 all over again.
So, taking a flyer on a guy who's spent 30 years siding with the
Vietcong, the Soviets, the Sandinistas, the Commies in Grenada
and - vis-à-vis Kuwait in 1990 - Saddam Hussein? No thanks.
My sense is that the 2002 model is still operative, and that the
Democrats and the media, talking to each other in their mutually
self-deluding cocoon, have overplayed the Bush-bashing. Next
Tuesday the President will win the states he won last time, plus
Iowa, Wisconsin, New Mexico and Maine's Second
Congressional District to put him up to 301 electoral votes.
Minnesota? Why not? Nudge him up to 311 electoral votes. Oh,
and what the hell, give him Hawaii: that's 315. The Republicans
will make a net gain of two seats in the Senate, one of which will
bring with it the scalp of the Democrats' leader, Tom Daschle.
Despite distancing himself from Kerry and running ads showing
him and Bush embracing, Daschle's floundering in South Dakota,
and his lugubrious mien will be even more lugubriouser within the
week. Look for a handful of Republican House gains, too. And
Democrats tearing their hair out - or John Kerry's and John
Edwards's hair, if they can penetrate the styling gel.
The above prediction needs to be able to withstand Democrat
fraud, which I'm nervous about. If Tuesday goes off as smoothly
as the Afghan election, we'll be very lucky.
Usually after making wild predictions I confidently toss my job on
the line and say, if they don't pan out, I'm outta here. I've done
that a couple of times this campaign season - over Wes Clark
(remember him?) - but it almost goes without saying in these
circumstances. Were America to elect John Kerry president, it
would be seen around the world as a repudiation not just of Bush
and of Iraq but of the broader war. It would be a declaration by
the people of American unexceptionalism - that they are a
slightly butcher Belgium; they would be signing on to the wisdom
of conventional transnationalism. Having failed to read correctly
the mood of my own backyard, I could hardly continue to pass
myself off as a plausible interpreter of the great geopolitical
forces at play. Obviously that doesn't bother a lot of chaps in this
line of work - Sir Simon Jenkins, Robert 'Mister Robert' Fisk,
etc., - and no doubt I could breeze through the next four years
doing ketchup riffs on Teresa Heinz Kerry, but I feel a period of
sober reflection far from the scene would be appropriate. My faith
in the persuasive powers of journalism would be shattered; maybe
it would be time to try something else - organising coups in
Africa, like the alleged Sir Mark Thatcher is alleged to have
allegedly done; maybe abseiling down the walls of the
Presidential palace and garroting the guards personally.
But I don't think it will come to that. This is the 9/11 election, a
choice between pushing on or retreating to the polite fictions of
September 10. I bet on reality.