Report: Majority Of Americans Unprepared For Apocalypse September 13, 2006 | Issue 42•37
WASHINGTON, DC—Over 87 percent of Americans are unprepared to protect themselves from even the most basic world-ending scenarios, according to a study released Monday by the nonpartisan doomsday think-tank The Malthusian Institute.
Despite "more than ample warning" for the most likely means of worldwide destruction, less than one million American households have taken even the simplest precautions against nuclear shockwaves, asteroid impact, or a host of angels bearing swords of fire, the study concluded.
Millions remain vulnerable to the all-devouring terror of Jesus' wrath (file photo).
"Our survey of households in seven U. S. regions demonstrated that few citizens have bothered to equip themselves with fireproof suits and extinguishers to deal with volcanic upheaval, solar flares, or the Lord's purifying flame," Malthusian Institute director James Olheiser said. "Almost no one is prepared for a sudden shift in the Earth's polarity or the eating of the Sun and moon by evil wolves Skol and Hati during Ragnarok."
Olheiser added: "All in all, America gets an 'F' for end-of-the-world preparedness."
The study examined nearly 1,200 doomsday scenarios and detailed the most glaring gaps in average Americans' ability to survive them. One of the few survival measures that fulfills the Institute's recommendations for most catastrophes—natural, manmade, or spiritual—is a mile-deep, lead-lined subterranean vault built to shield a pre-selected breeding group of humans until they can safely return to the planet's surface.* However, only two American citizens, both in Idaho, were found to have begun even the most cursory planning stages of this kind of race-preserving chamber.
"Even assuming someone eventually developed an above-ground super-house able to withstand the 1,200-degree temperature and massive force of lava and ash rain that would result from a globe-shattering asteroid impact, its occupants would be unprepared for the ensuing radical climate change," Olheiser said. "By the same token, the average household lacks the 1.2 million gallons of heating oil needed to withstand the prolonged sub-zero temperatures of another protracted Ice Age—perhaps the most shocking of the public's many oversights."
In the years after World War II, fallout shelters and stocks of canned goods were common in many American homes. However, as Malthusian Institute figures suggest, while public fears of world-ending scenarios grew more sophisticated, the level of preparation inexplicably dropped.
"America is at its lowest level of apocalyptic preparedness since the early 1950s," Olheiser said.
"Naturally, we're very concerned about the safety of our city's residents," said Billings, MT mayor Ron Tussing whose city was faulted in the study for lackadaisical endtimes-response policy. "But people can't expect the government to do everything. In the event of, say, the eruption of the supervolcano under Yellowstone National Park, or a torrential rain of boiling blood, citizens realize they're on their own."
However, many Americans consistently point to the same two factors that they say hinder their ability to respond to the end of the world: time and money. The study found that many apocalypse-preparedness measures are cost-prohibitive. With virtually no tax incentives in place, many Americans share the "dangerous perception" that only the richest few can afford to survive the extinction of humanity.
"I just renovated my house with cantilevered leaden cofferdams for increased earthquake and radiation protection, and I'm working on a pantheistic altar to appease the god or gods most likely to return to this world with an insatiable wrath," said Seattle resident Tim Hanson, whose actions were praised in the study as a "highly rare display of prescience and vigilance."
"I installed solar panels and a generator so I could live off the grid for a while," Hanson added. "But it cost so much that now I might not be able to have the altar properly gilded. At least not in time."
Not only are Americans unprepared physically, but spiritually as well. The study found that fewer than one thousand Americans regularly monitored space for signs of an approaching hostile alien ship, and only one percent were aware that an all-red bull and an all-white buffalo had recently been born and that plans were underway to rebuild Solomon's Temple in Jerusalem.
"We're advising parents to read this vital information, to take it to heart, and to share it with their children before it's too late," said Olheiser, who also called for the formation of more doomsday cults.
Department of Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff sharply disagreed with the report's findings.
"This study is inaccurate and misleading," Chertoff told reporters on Tuesday. "Americans are a resilient, can-do people. We are more prepared than ever to survive a gigantic tsunami, a major gravitational disruption, or any other heretofore non-prophesied calamity."
Chertoff added: "As for Armageddon borne out of God's heavenly wrath, I can say with assurance that this nation has never seen a presidential administration that has given more thought to this very scenario."
*[Bl.] Apparently this must be where the otherwise inexplicably elusive Osama Bin Laden now resides.
Robert Gates: Hunt For Osama Bin Laden Could Take Another Decade
How long might it really take to find al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden? U.S. Defense Secretary Robert Gates suggests the FBI's 17-year hunt for convicted Unabomber Theodore Kaczynski as a reasonable guide.
Or worse still, Gates said on Wednesday, consider the fate of Americans taken hostage decades ago in Lebanon who died before the United States could find and rescue them. <snip> Maybe Osama used this $100 million to build that state-of-the-art Bat Cave Rumsfeld told us about:**
Re:Report: Majority Of Americans Unprepared For Apocalypse
« Reply #2 on: 2009-03-20 19:16:47 »
[Iolo Morganwg] Hermit must be in the other 13% then [Hermit] Wrong again as usual! :-P
In my view the looming environmental, resource and energy availability threats are terrifying in so much as they will provide a route for believers to implement their end-time dreams and our nightmares. If I and others working on finding a way out fail, survival won't much matter because what is left, if anything, won't be the kind of world anyone who holds a Virian perspective will much want to live in.
So for now I'm far too busy trying to find ways for most people (we are people too) to escape the multiple closing traps and establish some route to future significance for enough of mankind to provide an "antidote of hope", to be spending time in futile preparation for wars intended to reduce global population levels which by their very nature will contain massive surprises for everyone.
From my perspective, further commentary or discussion on this topic would be inappropriate on this section of the board.
With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion. - Steven Weinberg, 1999
Re:Report: Majority Of Americans Unprepared For Apocalypse
« Reply #3 on: 2009-03-21 04:33:25 »
Hermit, obviously my comment was in jest. The type of humour that is born from the juvenile collapsing of the complex into the binary. Perhaps my use of smilie was incorrect?
The joke was actually on me, for it was I that took on the caricature of court jester.
I know, I know, it was a lame joke, but, it was night and I was feeling playful. Shoot me
With respect,
-iolo ... who is grateful that someone such as yourself is actually working on an "antidote of hope" !!
Re:Report: Majority Of Americans Unprepared For Apocalypse
« Reply #7 on: 2009-03-21 15:29:58 »
Hah! yeah, as little TV I got growing up, Wylie Coyote and Road Runner certainly left their memetic fingerprints in my brain.
I hear the Singularity is coming soon. The signs are out there. (me points to Moore's law, and how it applies to more than just transister density.). Everything will change even faster. Are you ready?
:::Mo writes in his little black book of self-fulfilling prophecies, chuckling to himself:::
Re:Report: Majority Of Americans Unprepared For Apocalypse
« Reply #8 on: 2009-03-21 17:47:19 »
Quote:
[MoEnzyme]I hear the Singularity is coming soon. The signs are out there. (me points to Moore's law, and how it applies to more than just transistor density.). Everything will change even faster. Are you ready?
Da List:
1-Stock Pile of Rice 2-Stock Pile of refried beans 3-Watermelons (per Bunderov's recommendations of thier duel functionality ) 4-Several Flags of assorted nations neatly folded and ready run up the pole. 5-Asian, Domestic and European vehicle depending which Suzerainty we will be governed by. 6-My tin foil covered construction safety hat is ready 7-My trusty dog 'Dave', his nick name will now have to be 'Blood' (reference to the Movie "A Boy and his Dog"
8-Multi-port interface cable with: RS232, Parallel, USB 1& 2, Firewire, Fibre Channel, Game Port, FDDI, Cat 6, RJ45, HDMI, and 110&220Volt adapters to ensure I can upload what ever aspect of me is still sentient .
And I am working on loosing weight, so I will be able to pucker up and kiss my derriere 'Auf Wiedersehen'
Cheer
Fritz
PS: but seriously folks, my water cooler mentions of Singularity has me pegged as a lunatic without even an iota of maybe or could be an option ....sigh
[MoEnzyme]I hear the Singularity is coming soon. The signs are out there. (me points to Moore's law, and how it applies to more than just transistor density.). Everything will change even faster. Are you ready? <snip> [Fritz]PS: but seriously folks, my water cooler mentions of Singularity has me pegged as a lunatic without even an iota of maybe or could be an option ....sigh
That's how we memetically draw you into our group ("us"), by rendering you an unintelligible and potentially corrupting influences on "them". You can keep trying to just get along with everyone, but eventually you'll figure out that they will never understand you like we will. Until then, good luck, buddy
Re:Report: Majority Of Americans Unprepared For Apocalypse
« Reply #10 on: 2009-03-24 22:39:02 »
Quote:
[Mo]That's how we memetically draw you into our group ("us"), by rendering you an unintelligible and potentially corrupting influences on "them". You can keep trying to just get along with everyone, but eventually you'll figure out that they will never understand you like we will. Until then, good luck, buddy
Clearly I've consumed more little blue CoV pills then you suspect; because I've proposed to the UniX systems management types to use these controllers to do all systems management from now on .... and the Physics major in the crew then noted this was a clear step towards the 'Singularity', with out any prompting from me .... and he had been to CoV and number of times .... I asked him if Satan was his savior and guiding light .... he said he was a consultant and of course :-)
Cheers
Fritz
PS:This will profoundly change porn on the Web :-)
Mind Over No Matter: Hands-On with the Psychic Controller
Source: Kotaku Author: Mark Wilson Date: Wed Feb 20 2008
By Brian Crecente
Mind-control, it turns out, isn't as easy as it looks.
After spending half-an-hour watching an Emotive guy levitate rocks, pull down trees and make object vanish with little more than the power of his mind, it was my turn to check out Emotiv's Epoc neural detector.
The headpiece, its stiff fingers slipping through my hair to find my scalp as it was placed on my head, felt like something alien settling onto my skull to roost, perhaps before enjoying a light snack.
A nearby monitor showed the color-coded diagram of a brain, my brain. Each of the 14 or so fingers of the Epoc were indicated with dots that changed colors to show if they were detecting the movement of electricity from neuron to neuron inside my brain.
But one stubbornly refused to light up at all.
"Maybe my front lobes don't work," I suggested helpfully, as a tech jimmied the headpiece around on my head, pushing here and there, as he tried to get that last button to light up.
Finally that last button turned green and the Emotiv folks asked me what I'd like to do first.
"I think I'd like to levitate something," I said.
"Sure."
To start you need to quickly synch your brain, teaching the computer to recognize the thought you use to perform the specific action. In my case I imagined the box in the center of the monitor drifting away.
After doing this for a second or two, while the program "recorded" they asked me to give it a try.. and it worked. Imagining the box floating up off the top of the screen, I was surprised to see it waver and then slowly move upwards until it disappeared.
I laughed in surprise and the box immediately dropped back down again.
After a second, failed, attempt and another quick synching session, I was able to make the box float up and down by simply thinking about it.
The sensation was quite strange. You don't really feel anything, but you can sort of tell that a particular thought or visualization seems to have a direct effect on the game.
I found myself inadvertently tightening my stomach muscles, or raising an eyebrow when I tried to make the box float, or later disappear, by thinking about it.
The Emotiv guy used his hands to try and cue himself to think the same way every time, performing what suspiciously looked like something out of Star Wars to get things to float or vanish. But they said that wasn't really necessary. In fact, they are playing around with a game mode that would punish any physical movements you make while trying to perform the mental magic.
The team also showed me, but wouldn't let me play, the game that will ship with the Epoc when it goes on sale later this year.
In the game you play as a student of a form of mental martial-arts. You wander around a mountain learning how to use your mind to do things like push and pull objects with thought, scare away spirits with a grimace and turn items invisible.
The game also senses the players mood and changes the in-game environment around them to suit it. For instance, if you're bored or unhappy the game's sky turns a greenish tint and the music softens, but as you become excited the sky turns a nasty shade of red and the music grows louder.
The game was created by Demiure Studios and is meant to be a showcase piece for the hardware, something that proves that the $300 device it's not just a bit of cool gadgetry, but something that could have serious implications in the world of video games.
From what I saw it did look a little light on content, but the ability to control items with your mind in the game, will likely still make it a hit among certain set of gamers.
I was a little concerned with the underlying technology, though. From the demonstrations I saw and participated in, the device seemed mostly to detect whether you were or weren't doing one thing. In other words, it could tell when I was trying to float a rock or not trying. But it was hard to tell just how sophisticated that detection was. Could it, for instance, differentiate between my trying to levitate a rock and make one disappear? The Emotiv people said it absolutely could, but they didn't demonstrate that.
Also, it was hard to really tell just how sensitive it was. From what I saw, the thing either detected none of the proper thought, or 100 percent of it, it seemed like there was no middle ground, something that could create serious problems for developers wanting to use the device for more precise controls.
While I think the technology is fascinating, even stunning at times, it's hard to tell at this point whether it has real world practical video game applications. Of everything I saw the one thing that most interested me was the concept of wearing this device to track your emotions, relaying that to a game and then allowing the game to use it to tweak your experience.
Imagine, for instance, a Silent Hill that knows what scares you most and how scared you are at any particular moment in the game. The implications are frightening.
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