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   Author  Topic: "Hints on Pronunciation for Foreigners" and other gems.  (Read 4177 times)
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"Hints on Pronunciation for Foreigners" and other gems.
« on: 2006-03-29 07:07:40 »
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Hints on pronunciation for foreigners

    I take it you already know
    of tough and bough and cough and dough.
    Others may stumble, but not you,
    On hiccough, thorough, lough** and through.
    Well done! And now you wish, perhaps,
    To learn of less familiar traps.

    Beware of heard, a dreadful word
    That looks like beard and sounds like bird.
    And dead-it's said like bed, not bead.
    For goodness sake, don't call it deed!
    Watch out for meat and great and threat.
    They rhyme with suite and straight and debt.

    A moth is not a moth in mother,
    Nor both in bother, broth in brother,
    And here is not a match for there,
    Nor dear and fear for pear and bear.
    And then there's dose and rose and lose
    Just look them up--and goose and choose.
    And cork and work and card and ward.
    And font and front and word and sword.
    And do and go, then thwart and cart.
    Come, come I've hardly made a start.

    A dreadful language? Man alive,
    I'd mastered it when I was five!

TSW


The Chaos

    Dearest creature in creation,
    Study English pronunciation.
    I will teach you in my verse
    Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
    I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
    Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
    Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
    So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.

    Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
    Dies and diet, lord and word,
    Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
    (Mind the latter, how it's written.)
    Now I surely will not plague you
    With such words as plaque and ague.
    But be careful how you speak:
    Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
    Cloven, oven, how and low,
    Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.

    Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
    Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
    Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
    Exiles, similes, and reviles;
    Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
    Solar, mica, war and far;
    One, anemone, Balmoral,
    Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
    Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
    Scene, Melpomene, mankind.

    Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
    Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
    Blood and flood are not like food,
    Nor is mould like should and would.
    Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
    Toward, to forward, to reward.
    And your pronunciation's OK
    When you correctly say croquet,
    Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
    Friend and fiend, alive and live.

    Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
    And enamour rhyme with hammer.
    River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
    Doll and roll and some and home.
    Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
    Neither does devour with clangour.
    Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
    Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
    Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
    And then singer, ginger, linger,
    Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
    Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.

    Query does not rhyme with very,
    Nor does fury sound like bury.
    Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
    Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
    Though the differences seem little,
    We say actual but victual.
    Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
    Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
    Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
    Dull, bull, and George ate late.
    Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
    Science, conscience, scientific.

    Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
    Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
    We say hallowed, but allowed,
    People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
    Mark the differences, moreover,
    Between mover, cover, clover;
    Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
    Chalice, but police and lice;
    Camel, constable, unstable,
    Principle, disciple, label.

    Petal, panel, and canal,
    Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
    Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
    Senator, spectator, mayor.
    Tour, but our and succour, four.
    Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
    Sea, idea, Korea, area,
    Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
    Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
    Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

    Compare alien with Italian,
    Dandelion and battalion.
    Sally with ally, yea, ye,
    Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
    Say aver, but ever, fever,
    Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
    Heron, granary, canary.
    Crevice and device and aerie.

    Face, but preface, not efface.
    Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
    Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
    Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
    Ear, but earn and wear and tear
    Do not rhyme with here but ere.
    Seven is right, but so is even,
    Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
    Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
    Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.

    Pronunciation -- think of Psyche!
    Is a paling stout and spikey?
    Won't it make you lose your wits,
    Writing groats and saying grits?
    It's a dark abyss or tunnel:
    Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
    Islington and Isle of Wight,
    Housewife, verdict and indict.

    Finally, which rhymes with enough --
    Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
    Hiccough has the sound of cup.
    My advice is to give up!!!

Charivarius nom de plume* of G. Nolst Trenité

In Verbatim; The Language Quarterly, for Autumn 1989, pages 8-10, there is a letter from a man in Salt Lake City, Utah, USA. Mr. Jacob de Jager says he was born in Holland in 1923 and received his education through senior high school in that country. As he studied English, he and others were required to learn by heart for recitation a poem called "The Chaos". He says the poem is by an English teacher named G. Nolst Trenité in the city of Haarlem. Trenité wrote articles under the pen name Charivarious and a little booklet entitled "Drop Your English Accent", in which the poem appeared.

Allegedly, according to Susan Stepney (who has an altogether delightful website), quoting Marshall Gilliland:
While most of you non-native speakers of English speak English quite well, there is always room for improvement (of course, the same could be said for every person for any subject, but that is another matter). To that end, I'd like to offer you a poem. Once you've learned to correctly pronounce every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.

If you find it tough going, do not despair, you are not alone: Multi-national personnel at North Atlantic Treaty Organization headquarters near Paris found English to be an easy language ... until they tried to pronounce it. To help them discard an array of accents, the verses below were devised. After trying them, a Frenchman said he'd prefer six months at hard labor to reading six lines aloud. Try them yourself.

*Un homme qui parle trois langues est trilingue. Un homme qui parle deux langues est bilingue. Un homme qui ne parle qu'une langue est anglais. -- Claude Gagnière


[Miscellaneous Word Pairs

    At the Army base, a bass was painted on the head of a bass drum.
    They were too close to the door to close it.
    It was difficult to coax the coax cable through the conduit.
    The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
    The buck does funny things when the does are present.
    The dove dove into the bushes.
    The entrance to a mall fails to entrance me.
    I spent last evening evening out a pile of dirt.
    How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
    The insurance for the invalid was invalid.
    He could lead if he would get the lead out.
    A cat with nine lives lives next door.
    She will mouth obscenities unless you stop her mouth.
    After a number of injections, my jaw got number.
    I did not object to the object.
    We polish the Polish furniture.
    There is no time like the present to present the present.
    A farm can produce produce.
    She was reading a book in Reading.
    The dump was so full it had to refuse more refuse.
    On the road to the race, the oarsmen rowed about who rowed the best.
    There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
    A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
    To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
    I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
    I shed a tear when I saw the tear in my clothes.
    The unionised gas smothered the unionised workforce.
    The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
    The bandage was wound around the wound.
Cited from Susan Stepney's site :-)
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