From: Mermaid . (britannica@hotmail.com)
Date: Fri Aug 23 2002 - 11:14:37 MDT
[Jake] I don't agree with this analysis. I have long liked the maxim,
"forgive but don't forget."
[Mermaid]I like it too. But I employ it on a very selective basis depending
on what I gain from being..errr...forgiving(or forgetful).
[Jake]To me forgiveness is to forgo revenge/reciprocity or even the desire
for such. This is important at times and probably more so for the forgiver
than for the forgiven.
[Mermaid]Ooo..revenge is a whole new ball game. To exact revenge is a
pleasure seeker's pass time. It is far more satisfying than forgiving or
forgetting, for that matter.
[Jake]It is emotionally unhealthy and warping of perspective to spend most
of your life nursing vendettas.
[Mermaid]I didnt say anything about vendettas.
[Jake]Indeed, we could probably point to the Israeli/Palestinian conflict as
an example of what this can lead to where satisfaction of one vendetta leads
to the creation of several more. . . . a self perpetuating violent memeplex
. . .
[Mermaid]No. But I dont want to go into that now.
[Jake]I don't see that forgiving requires forgetting, nor do I think that
such a pattern of forgiving and forgetting would be desirable either for the
very reason you cite above. We can overcome our vendettas without forgetting
the things which inspired them in
the first place.
[Jake]For example, I can forgive someone for stealing from me once they have
faced the justice system, but I will still remember to watch my possessions
better thenceforth.
[Mermaid]Why would you do that? Because you feel that you have been
compensated because he faced the justice system? Isnt making someone face
the justice system, 'vendentta'? Would you spread your valubles in the
presence of a 'prodigal friend' after he returns?
[Mermaid]Re..the justice system again...is that like...itsok..you are my
brother...but get spanked by Daddy...:) Curious. What if he returned your
stuff back to you(reversing the wrong) and escaped the justice system? Would
you still forgive him? Will you forget?
[Mermaid]There is always a price for our actions and words. A favour
delivered is a favour earned.(and vice versa) A bleeding wound will always
leave a scar. If one doesnt see that, one is blind.
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