virus: [Fwd: [Fwd: [Fwd: You have GOT to read these - yikes!]]]

Kevin O'Connor (
Mon, 09 Dec 1996 08:17:34 -0800

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From: Brad Kalil <>
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Happy Holidays to all.

> Check out the following excerpts from a Wall Street Journal article
> by Jim Carlton, and you'll realize there are lots of people in the
> world far, far more idiotic than you could possibly think. They are
> pretty hysterical unless they are true . . .then they are pretty sad.
> 1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to
> "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where
> the "Any" key is.
> 2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was
> hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to
> be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.
> 3. Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining
> that system would not read word processing files from his old
> diskettes. After troubleshooting for magnets and heat failed to
> diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer labeled the
> diskettes then rolled them into the typewriter to type the labels.
> 4. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective
> diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer
> along with Xeroxed copies of the floppies.
> 5. A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy
> back in the drive and close the door. The customer asked the
> tech to hold on, and was heard putting the phone down, getting
> up and crossing the room to close the door to his room.
> 6. Another Dell customer called to say he could not get his computer
> to fax anything. After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting, the
> technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper
> by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the
> "send" key.
> 7. Another Dell customer needed help setting up a new program, so a
> Dell tech suggested he go the local Egghead. "Yeah, I got me a
> couple of friends", the customer replied. When told Egghead was
> a software store, the man said, "Oh, I thought you meant for me to
> find a couple of geeks".
> 8. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no
> longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap
> and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all
> the keys and washing them individually.
> 9. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged
> because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid".
> The tech explained that the computer's "bad" command and
> "invalid" responses should not be taken personally.
> 10. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support could not get
> her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer
> was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she
> pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on
> this foot pedal and nothing happens." The "foot pedal" turned
> out to be the computer's mouse.
> 11. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new
> computer would not work. She said she unpacked the unit,
> plugged it in, and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something
> to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power
> switch, she asked "What power switch?"

Brad Kalil					
Northwest Research Group			web: 
400 108th Avenue N.E., Suite 200		tel:  206.635.7481
Bellevue, WA  98004				fax:  206.685.7482