psyche

here. ... now.
here. ... now.
here. ... now...

i can transpose,
i can compose,
i can oppose,
i can even suppose
this frame of mind
this mental image
this train of thought
testing the limits

and deep within i erupt
life and within
eagerly searching yearning
pining deep for you
the screw
the tightening
the views
and disrupting
and corrupting
and tempting
and hues!

oh little boy
you precious wave of thought
oh you little boy slaughtered
and you wonder why he fought?
...and you wonder why he is running away!

there's no inner child to find
there is no mother in which to confide
those dynamics are long since dead
strippingtrippingripping
out psyche from your head

and you wonder why you can't find
vulnerable
and you wonder why you can't find
comfortable
and you wonder why you can't find
sensual
and you wonder why you can't find
phoenixual

how can i get repentence?
where is it written
to the rules to which i'm bind?
how can i beg forgiveness?
to a boy who is long forgotten,
in game of seek and never find.

... he's burried that deep.

and what is this?
for who am i too be that god?
and what is this?
for who am i too be perched on this knowl...
ledge
acknowledge
and move on
go on
and just let go
and fall from that ledge
and fall,
release all
fall
surrender to all
and fall
...
but i am screaming
and i am not getting answers at all
and why would i from some such chaotic skies
because i am trying to bring back a meme from the dead?!
i am trying to recusitate a lost cause in my head!?

am i really to just let go?
see?
this is my complexity.
where's home?
where's here?
where's now?
where's all these things you speak of?

because i am on a plane that is so raw
and saturatesspiritualysexualsodillusional
no conclusionals, confessionals, professional,
beyond existential...

and i don't know if i'm dying once a upon a time,
or if i'm being born once again.
here.
now.