Blunderov
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Your Final Exam in Country Music
« on: 2007-04-17 05:13:24 » |
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[Blunderov] World champion calibre snarking from The Poorman Institute. 
http://www.thepoorman.net/2007/04/16/your-final-exam-in-country-music/
Your Final Exam in Country Music
17 April 2007, 07:00:40 | The Editors
Michelle Malkin points out that while Don Imus is bad, so is rap. Good point, because I like shit that has shit to do with shit, too. Anyhoo, this seems as good a time as any to remind people of the most depraved 2 couplets in the history of popular music - the first few lines of Johnny Cash’s classic “Cocaine Blues” - and to assess 50% of your final grade in Country Music.
Johnny Cash “Cocaine Blues”, lines 1 thru 4
Early one morning while making the rounds
I took a shot of cocaine and I shot my woman down
I went right home and I went to bed
I stuck that lovin’ 44 beneath my head
1. Given that one can comfortably A) do needle drugs and B) murder one’s common law wife while on the clock, what sort of tasks might be involved in “making the rounds”? (EXTRA CREDIT: How do I get that job?)
2. As a country music name, “Johnny Cash” is ok, but it’s no “Johnny Paycheck“. So how come “Johnny Cash” is the greatest rap name possible? What the fuck is that all about? Give specific rim diameters.
3. In the course of “making the rounds”, Mr. Cash injects an extremely potent stimulant into his bloodstream and then shoots his life partner dead for no reason. Then, in the very next stanza, he takes a fucking nap. Did he have a busy afternoon planned or something?
END OF EXAM
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