virus: One Muslim's Journey to Reason

From: Walter Watts (wlwatts@cox.net)
Date: Sun Mar 21 2004 - 19:55:48 MST

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    From Muslim to Skeptic
    ---------------------------------------
    Before I came across Skeptic and your
    skeptical books, I was a practicing
    Muslim, a self-taught student of classical
    and mainstream Islamic jurisprudence
    and theology. At the time, I tried to come
    across as a fairly liberal propounder of
    the faith, especially when I was at univer-
    sity. It was shortly after getting heavily
    involved with an Islamic website, my col-
    leagues printed a special Q&A booklet
    setting out the reasons why in fact God
    must exist, and how we can reason our-
    selves into absolute truth by accurately
    reading the signs of Allah in nature.
     The arguments presented in that
    booklet, however, quietly perturbed me
    somewhat. I wasn’t able to place my
    finger on the exact nature of the prob-
    lem contained therein, but I remember
    that I found them intuitively simplistic.
    This troubled me a little. But it would
    have been a weak reflection on my
    level of faith had I then tumed tail and
    ran, solely on the basis of such a “triv-
    ial” issue. In any case, I contented
    myself with the hope that, maybe,
    stronger defenses of the faith were to
    be found elsewhere, should these
    somehow prove defective. I continued
    to believe.
     Well, almost. In retrospect, it was not
    too difficult to dispose of Hizb-ut-Tahrir
    central notion of the individual obligation
    of re-installing a Khilafab, a universal
    Islamic state, a common leadership for
    all Muslims. But when I came across
    their discussion of the God Question, I
    was taken aback. Their arguments were
    not dissimilar to the ones that my web-
    savvy friends had published a little eadi-
    er. In fact, if anything, Hizb-ut-Tahrir was
    far more articulate and seemingly sophis-
    ticated in their presentation.
     By then, I must say that my difficult
    experiences with Hizb-ut-Tahrir had
    caused me to place a premium on refut-
    ing their belief system from the ground
    up. I took my faith too seriously to let
    them think that they could hold a
    monopoly on the truth, for if I capitulat-
    ed without demonstrating the hollow-
    ness of their political program, they
    would hold nothing but contempt for
    my ‘weak and distilled” beliefs. So I
    resolved to show myself how their
    beliefs on the existence of God stood on
    the grounds of logic. I came across a
    review of the second edition of How We
    Believe. Science, Skepticism, and the
    Sea rch for God by Michael Shermer I
    was particularly interested in the chapter
    on proofs of God, seeing that this might
    provide me with some much-needed
    ammunition.
     You can probably see where this is
    heading. The chapter on proofs not only
    changed my view of how to assess
    arguments for the existence of God, but
    also illustrated the weak levels of faith of
    those who deployed them. The book
    shook me to the core, and for a few
    months, I thought I could try to see
    myself as a fideist. I still thought of
    myself as a Muslim, but I came to finally
    face what I had known all along—that
    the Qur’an’s repeated exhortation to find
    God though reading His signs in nature
    is a feature of the Islamic canon that can
    never rest easily with fideistic notions. I
    went back to the book and read it
    again, but this time slowly. For the first
    time, I began to seriously ponder what
    life would be like without God.
     If How We Believe shook me up and
    planted a “seed of doubt” in my mind,
    then a second cataclysm came in the
    shape of September 11. My deep
    unhappiness at the Muslim world's
    ambivalent reaction to the atrocity fur-
    ther aggravated my increasing split from
    Islam. (I even set up a personal weblog
    a few months after the terrorists struck,
    taklng a strong pro-American, pro-Israeli
    approach, all the time writing as a
    Muslim). By this time, however, I was
    no longer fully practicing the faith, and
    considered myself an agnostic of sorts.
    But I was heavily interested in Muslim
    issues, and so I began reading books
    about Islam and Muslims written by
    non-Muslims. I remember being sur-
    prised at how many were far more
    coherent and insightful than most of the
    Muslim authors I had come across.
    Bemard Lewis, Martin Kramer, Daniel
    Pipes, Emmanuel Sivan and Timur
    Kuran (to name but a few) were inci-
    sive in their treatment of Islam and mili-
    tant Islam. I also found Ibn Warraq's
    books on the origins of Islam to be
    quite excellent and well-informed.
     By now I was also educating myself
    with a few books on the rules of critical
    thinking. Edward T. Damer’s book, and
    the famous one by Theodore Schick, Jr.,
    and Lewis Vaughn, How to Think About
    Weird Things, reinforced my appreciation
    of Baruch Spinoza’s famous quote. A
    few articles in Free Inquiry slowly
    steered me towards being comfortable
    with atheism, including one by
    Theodore Schick, Jr. I can’t seem to pin-
    point the exact timing of when I went
    from a theist to an agnostic, and an
    agnostic to atheist. It happened very
    gradually. It was as if I woke up one
    morning, discovered I was an atheist,
    thought it was okay, and went to work.
     But without first reading How We
    Believe I am sure that I would not have
    taken up this remarkable and enlighten-
    ing joumey. I still remember how the
    words leapt off the pages into my mind,
    and how my believing soul froze for just
    a moment while the rest of the world
    swiveled around me towards a new
    position. That position seems to be
    somewhat established now: my thoughts
    on the existence of God reached a more
    or less coherent form last year. It has
    been a rich and intellectually liberating
    experience to lift those dogmatic shack-
    les that had burdened my mind for so
    long. I no longer worship religion, as I
    now recognize that faith continues to
    harbor many serious problems, especial-
    ly one such as Islam, but I don’t hate it.
    —Adi Farooq Birmingham, United Kingdom,
    http://www.windsofchange.net

    From the Forum section of Skeptic magazine, Vol. 10, #3
    http://www.skeptic.com

    --
    Walter Watts
    Tulsa Network Solutions, Inc.
    "Pursue the small utopias... nature, music, friendship, love"
    --Kupferberg--
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