From: Walter Watts (wlwatts@cox.net)
Date: Tue Feb 24 2004 - 16:40:05 MST
very sweet, Blunderov..........
Blunderov wrote:
> Dr Sebby
> Sent: 23 February 2004 11:31 AM
>
> ...i dont know if i mentioned this before, but i am "Omnisebby". that
> is,
> being perfectly sebby.
>
> by the way, does the bible ever attempt to describe god's qualities or
> powers? or do we merely infer them?
>
> [Blunderov]
> Found this Gem at
>
> http://bennyhills.fortunecity.com/hardy/203/nonbeliever/page55.html
>
> of which this is the first page.
>
> Best Regards
>
> <q>
>
> Do you follow the Bible word for word? Do you try to follow God's good
> example? I read the Bible to see what God was like, and I agree with all
> Christian Theists. The Bible is the Word of God, undisputed. I read the
> Bible for answers and I got them. I asked the Bible: What is God like?
> It told me.
> ***
> "Well young grasshopper, God.
> ***
> .cursed, and used to slap animals around!"
> Genesis: 8:21 And the LORD smelled a sweet savour; and the LORD said in
> his heart, I will not again curse the ground any more for man's sake;
> for the imagination of man's heart is evil from his youth; neither will
> I again smite any more every thing living, as I have done.
> ***
> .had a bit of a speech problem..."
> Isaiah: 5:26 And he will lift up an ensign to the nations from far, and
> will hiss unto them from the end of the earth: and, behold, they shall
> come with speed swiftly.
> ***
> .pukes a little here and there..."
> Revelations: 3:16 So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold
> nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.
> ***
> .changes his mind now and then... (an indecisive character!)"
> Exodus: 32:14 And the LORD repented of the evil which he thought to do
> unto his people.
> ***
> .moons folks (just like a good ol' boy!) (The darn straight edge; he's
> even is a little shy in the process...)"
> Exodus: 33:23 And I will take away mine hand, and thou shalt see my back
> parts: but my face shall not be seen.
> ***
> .talks to the devil just like all the real Satanists..."
> Job : 1:7 And the LORD said unto Satan, Whence comest thou? Then Satan
> answered the LORD, and said, From going to and fro in the earth, and
> from walking up and down in it.
> ***
> .bum rushes angels with folly. (good help is hard to come by, so its
> ok)..."
> Job : 4:18 Behold, he put no trust in his servants; and his angels he
> charged with folly.
> ***
> .causes adultery (love thy neighbor stuff...)"
> 2 Samuel: 12:11 Thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will raise up evil
> against thee out of thine own house, and I will take thy wives before
> thine eyes, and give them unto thy neighbour, and he shall lie with thy
> wives in the sight of this sun.
> ***
> .causes suicide:"
> Jeremiah: 19:7 And I will make void the counsel of Judah and Jerusalem
> in this place; and I will cause them to fall by the sword before their
> enemies, and by the hands of them that seek their lives: and their
> carcases will I give to be meat for the fowls of the heaven, and for the
> beasts of the earth.
> ***
> .causes "indecency" (if He can moon, they can streak, right?)"
> Isaiah 20:3 And the LORD said, Like as my servant Isaiah hath walked
> naked and barefoot three years for a sign and wonder upon Egypt and upon
> Ethiopia; 20:4 So shall the king of Assyria lead away the Egyptians
> prisoners, and the Ethiopians captives, young and old, naked and
> barefoot, even with their buttocks uncovered, to the shame of Egypt.
> ***
> .tells people to lie."
> 1 Samuel: 16:2 And Samuel said, How can I go? if Saul hear it, he will
> kill me. And the LORD said, Take an heifer with thee, and say, I am come
> to sacrifice to the LORD.
> ***
> .loves to oppress (but he is a good Capitalist, like Karl Marx)"
> Hosea: 12:7 He is a merchant, the balances of deceit are in his hand: he
> loveth to oppress.
> ***
> .rewards transgressors and fools."
> Proverbs: 26:10 The great God that formed all things both rewardeth the
> fool, and rewardeth transgressors.
> ***
> .orders men to drink, be drunk, and vomit (frat-house party animal!)"
> Jeremiah: 25:27 Therefore thou shalt say unto them, Thus saith the LORD
> of hosts, the God of Israel; Drink ye, and be drunken, and spue, and
> fall, and rise no more, because of the sword which I will send among
> you.
> 25:28 And it shall be, if they refuse to take the cup at thine hand to
> drink, then shalt thou say unto them, Thus saith the LORD of hosts; Ye
> shall certainly drink.
> ***
> .wipes shit on peoples faces:"
> Malachi: 2:3 Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your
> faces, even the dung of your solemn feasts; and one shall take you away
> with it.
> ***
> .Has really bad table manners... (well, he handles shit to spread on
> faces, what do you expect?)"
> Hosea: 13:8 I will meet them as a bear that is bereaved of her whelps,
> and will rend the caul of their heart, and there will I devour them like
> a lion: the wild beast shall tear them.
> ***
> .deceives his own prophets"
> Jeremiah: 20:7 O LORD, thou hast deceived me, and I was deceived; thou
> art stronger than I, and hast prevailed: I am in derision daily, every
> one mocketh me.
> ***
> .sought to kill his own emissary"
> Exodus: 4:24 And it came to pass by the way in the inn, that the LORD
> met him, and sought to kill him.
> ***
> .sanctions slavery"
> Exodus: 21:2 If thou buy an Hebrew servant, six years he shall serve:
> and in the seventh he shall go out free for nothing.
> 21:3 If he came in by himself, he shall go out by himself: if he were
> married, then his wife shall go out with him.
> 21:4 If his master have given him a wife, and she have born him sons or
> daughters; the wife and her children shall be her master's, and he shall
> go out by himself.
> 21:5 And if the servant shall plainly say, I love my master, my wife,
> and my children; I will not go out free:
> 21:6 Then his master shall bring him unto the judges; he shall also
> bring him to the door, or
> unto the door post; and his master shall bore his ear through with an
> aul; and he shall serve him for ever.
> ***
> .orders slave-capturing expeditions"
> (kill the men, keep the booty!)
> Deuteronomy: 20:12 And if it will make no peace with thee, but will make
> war against thee, then thou shalt besiege it: 20:13 And when the LORD
> thy God hath delivered it into thine hands, thou shalt smite every male
> thereof with the edge of the sword: 20:14 But the women, and the little
> ones, and the cattle, and all that is in the city, even all the spoil
> thereof, shalt thou take unto thyself; and thou shalt eat the spoil of
> thine enemies, which the LORD thy God hath given thee.
> ***
> .orders the slaughter of men, women, and children (a little blood lust
> there?)"
> 1 Samuel: 15:3 Now go and smite Amalek, and utterly destroy all that
> they have, and spare them not; but slay both man and woman, infant and
> suckling, ox and sheep, camel and ass.
> ***
> After killing off the men, keep the virgins around for 'a good time'"
> Numbers: 31:17 Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and
> kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him.
> 31:18 But all the women children, that have not known a man by lying
> with him, keep alive for yourselves.
> ***
> .poor fella', he can't even trust the truth, so he send delusions to
> damn people"
> 2 Thessalonians: 2:11 And for this cause God shall send them strong
> delusion, that they should believe a lie: 2:12 That they all might be
> damned who believed not the truth, but had pleasure in unrighteousness.
> ***
> .has white hair"
> DAN 7:9 I beheld till the thrones were cast down, and the Ancient
> of days did sit, whose garment was white as snow, and the hair of his
> head like the pure wool: his throne was like the
> fiery flame, and his wheels as burning fire.
> ***
> .gets tired and needs a rest"
> GEN 2:2 And on the seventh day God ended his work which he had made;
> and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made.
> ***
> .smokes up a little now and then."
> PSA 18:8 There went up a smoke out of his nostrils, and fire out of his
> mouth devoured: coals were kindled by it.
> ***
> .has various body parts"
> PSA 17:4 Concerning the works of men, by the word of thy lips I have
> kept me from the paths of the destroyer.
>
> PSA 11:4 The LORD is in his holy temple, the LORD's throne is in
> heaven: his eyes behold, his eyelids try, the children of men.
>
> PSA 18:8 There went up a smoke out of his nostrils, and fire out of his
> mouth devoured: coals were kindled by it.
>
> ISA 30:27 Behold, the name of the LORD cometh from far, burning with
> his anger, and the burden thereof is heavy: his lips are full of
> indignation, and his tongue as a devouring fire:
>
> ISA 1:20 But if ye refuse and rebel, ye shall be devoured with the
> sword: for the mouth of the LORD hath spoken it.
>
> PSA 8:3 When I consider thy heavens, the work of thy fingers, the
> moon and the stars, which thou hast ordained;
>
> PSA 18:10 And he rode upon a cherub, and did fly: yea, he did fly
> upon the wings of the wind.
> ***
> .gambles (fixes the dice and lets his people be distributed that way)"
>
> PRO 16:33 The lot is cast into the lap; but the whole disposing
> thereof is of the LORD.
>
> JOS 18:6 Ye shall therefore describe the land into seven parts, and
> bring the description hither to me, that I may cast lots for you here
> before the LORD our God.
>
> JOE 3:3 And they have cast lots for my people; and have given a boy
> for an harlot, and sold a girl for wine, that they might drink.
>
> OBA 1:11 In the day that thou stoodest on the other side, in the day
> that the strangers carried away captive his forces, and foreigners
> entered into his gates, and cast lots upon Jerusalem,
> even thou wast as one of them.
>
> JON 1:7 And they said every one to his fellow, Come, and let us cast
> lots, that we may know for whose cause this evil is upon us. So they
> cast lots, and the lot fell upon Jonah.
>
> NAH 3:10 Yet was she carried away, she went into captivity: her young
> children also were dashed in pieces at the top of all the streets: and
> they cast lots for her honourable men, and all her
> great men were bound in chains.
> <q>
>
>
>
> ---
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-- Walter Watts Tulsa Network Solutions, Inc. "Reminding you to help control the human population. Have your sexual partner spayed or neutered." --- To unsubscribe from the Virus list go to <http://www.lucifer.com/cgi-bin/virus-l>
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