From: Dr Sebby (drsebby@hotmail.com)
Date: Sun Feb 08 2004 - 02:34:49 MST
...i see what you are saying, allow me to counter. since love is a rather
significant intangible...and thus very difficult to define, at some point
our various fuzzy notions of what it might be will likely differ - for no
other reason than misunderstanding.
when i examine romantic love it is a combination of things...high regard
and consideration, some admiration, and other nice stuff...but where it
differs from platonic or fraternal love is that woven into its fiber is that
mercurial animal/chemical side of things that makes our hearts thump faster,
and our reasoning abilities founder from time to time. passion...for lack
of a better term. this element changes the 'rules' in my opinion and clouds
the issue. this is why i speak of such things in ways that hint at the less
than noble. it is no wonder that romantic love is oft likened to flames -
it is its own thing and quite out of our control to some degree...this is
what makes it so special, so provacative. it has always tapped that animal
side in us that brings out powerful feelings, including some negative ones
such as jealousy, false anger, pouting, ridiculous sacrifice & risk, and
even the ugly head of possessiveness can often arise in the less mature.
...as a result, the uniqueness of romantic love dictates something quite
beyond the norm as far as 'rules' go. to love someone romantically and not
have it returned should, in a healthy specimen(IMO) generate some degree of
reciprocal rejection or avoidance until the flames of passion have subsided
to a manageable level, and the mind can see clearly again. at this point
one can rationalize things and adjust their love to a fraternal sort at
which point proximity can once again be a pleasant thing. but to continue
an unrequited love affair on one's own is quite pathological, unproductive,
painful, pointless and uncomfortable for all involved. that is my position
and philosophy on this.
DrSebby.
"Courage...and shuffle the cards".
----Original Message Follows----
From: "Erik Aronesty" <erik@zoneedit.com>
If the love itself requires reprocicity, then it is false.
If someone treats you poorly, and you don't want to see them for that
reason, you can still love them... even not seeing them, and even if your
love is never returned.
If you have “requirements” for spending time with someone, or sleeping with
them that's fine.
But if you have “requirements” for love, the love is false.
The only true love is unconditional love.
See, love is not “fair”. It's not a game.
-----Original Message-----
From: "Dr Sebby" <drsebby@hotmail.com>
Date: Sun, 08 Feb 2004 07:42:14
To:virus@lucifer.com
Subject: Re: virus: Life is not a game
romantic love sort of necessitates reciprocity...otherwise it becomes
somewhat pathological. caring love does not require it, true. but in all
our lofty goals of attempting to claim unrequited love as a noble and
tolerable thing...the vast majority of humans never succeed in even getting
close to managing such a thing, i would dare say that the vast majority
never even consider trying the thought on for size. and yet it cannot be
said that the vast majority of humanity fails to love romantically.
DrSebby.
"Courage...and shuffle the cards".
----Original Message Follows----
From: "Erik Aronesty" <erik@zoneedit.com>
Reply-To: virus@lucifer.com
To: virus@lucifer.com
Subject: Re: virus: Life is not a game
Date: Sat, 7 Feb 2004 21:46:20 -0400
The relationship can ertainly involve rules. But the love isn't beholden to
them.
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This archive was generated by hypermail 2.1.5 : Sun Feb 08 2004 - 02:37:20 MST