From: Violet Beck (seizansha@hotmail.com)
Date: Sat Apr 13 2002 - 13:08:52 MDT
<jonathan>
In a nutshell, the problem (if it is a problem) is that I'm in my late
40s, straight, male, a virgin, and I don't know why. I'm a bit shy in
normal social situations, and tend toward the silent type, but I've
managed to learn to overcome normal shyness in most situations. I can
function in society, at least in those situations where there are enough
people around to blend in, or where there's some kind of script, real or
implied (such as public speaking or teaching). So people who know me
find it hard to credit that I'm extremely, painfully even, shy in
intimate situations.
</jonathan>
<violet>
An interesting mental condition, and one I have heard very little about.
Personally, I am the exact opposite--fall in love too easily, with anyone,
and end up in compromising situations which incite vicious gossip and then
alienation from my peer group. Though what you're dealing with apparently
doesn't harm you much outwardly or socially, it seems FAR more mentally
painful.
As a rational and calm human being, your way of avoiding this has probably
been avoiding it and/or seeking help. Both of which are perfectly acceptable
paths, though the former may not ease the pain. However, I'd like to take
the moment to bring up the issue currently going on in the Catholic Church.
I do not know if everyone is familiar with the idea of 'vocation.' After or
during highschool, a Catholic is expected to go through a time of intense
prayer in which they are to decide what they're going to do with their
lives. Now, rarely enough, 'god' tells them that they need to become a
priest. I honestly don't understand the psychology of this, but it happens.
The young man becomes a priest.
I paraphrase a newspaper quote (good job, vi, forget your sources)when I say
that, some years later, the now thirty or forty year-old-man goes through a
sexual awakening of sorts. After so many years of forcefully--and sometimes
involuntarily--surpressing his sexuality, he is inequiped to deal with these
'new' urges, and often finds a child a safe person to approach.
Chilling, I agree. Allow me to take this moment to add "forced celibacy" to
my List of Things I Hate About Religion.
Obviously, of course, I'm not insulting Jonathan at all. For the same
reasons I have not become a compulsive nymphomaniac prostitute, he has not
become a child molester. We're both educated and otherwise well-balanced
people.
Unfortunately, it appears, a lot of priests are not.
</violet>
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This archive was generated by hypermail 2.1.5 : Wed Sep 25 2002 - 13:28:45 MDT