From: athe nonrex (athenonrex@godisdead.com)
Date: Wed Feb 20 2002 - 12:50:11 MST
as a side note, it helps to know that i use the term, the name, "murphy"
in the literary context of [was it greek? irish? i forget...] the god of misfortune...(as in murphy's law)
this is also reflective, not altogether current. and there are some
lines that are intentionally satirical...
my dear murphy (statue of mirrors III)
(c) athenonrex, 2/7/2002
-I-
how could i believe
that i could ever have
anything i truely wanted?
i am murphy's slave
what i want shall never
grace me.
satisfaction knows not
my name,
nor shall it speak of me-
even in a dream.
woe is not an option,
nor has it visited me.
no disappointment lingers
in my heart.
what could i expect?
that life would gain compassion?
that a solitary wish could
be fulfilled
after so much denial?
that i would not be stepped upon,
my heart taken under foot
and
my hope fed to lumbering goats,
who's gaze is fixed in my direction only
when i desire?
and what could hope accomplish anyway?
a prolonging of the enevitable?
the unavoidable shadow
of the tall dark handom man
who's always was
and shall forever remain
murphy?
-II-
my waiting in vain,
what could i have done
with all the time i spent waiting
for you,
my dear murphy?
have i been numbed of the pain,
or does it just seem so
to prevent me from falling
down the wrong side
when i wobble on the brink-
my brink-
of insanity?
-III-
saintly gestures,
n'ver does any good come my way.
a flirt, flaunt, tossing of the leather hair.
then gazing, silently,
upon what endevors i dare to cast into the aether,
to see what the aether dares to cast back to me...
you!
always with you,
and the smug smirk
of having a tormented soul to view
from your windowed lattice,
pearched upon your grerat stale throne.
hating you is not an option,
my dear murphy,
nor is anger,pettiness, nor violence.
for if it were,
my tongue would spew
fire and rock,
or prehaps ice and wind.
but i am your slave,
lucky even to be protesting you.
loathing you is possible,
but useless...
i have no physical discourse at
my disposal;
not windowed lattice,
each window a statue of mirrors,
do i own.
-IV-
...and forever will you dangle
the carrot of desire
in front of me.
and though i wish to end the march,
i cannot,
but i could if you so desired,
my dear murphy.
for i am a slave to you,
my dear murphy.
and what i wish shall
never be.
this is all for you,
my dear murphy.
and this is all because of you...
regards,
nick
[aka-athenonrex, garlomahoth, loki, chimaera, etc...]
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