From: Dr Sebby (drsebby@hotmail.com)
Date: Tue Jan 29 2002 - 17:41:24 MST
...ok, i know i have you beat on this one hermit. i've been pulled over 14
times in a row now without getting a ticket:) a stretch spanning almost
10yrs now!
...but aside from that, i wager that although california driving is a bit
over-the top, the best method here (even whilst driving drunk on a saturday
night) seems to be to drive about 7-10mph over the limit and dont slow down
when you see 'them'...this gives them the feeling that you already KNOW
youre 'in the wrong' so youre likely going to accept the ticket with guilt
and shame without giving them the evil eye/bad vibes etc. oh, and always
assume a 'relaxed' pose when passing the cop....leaning comfortably, maybe
one arm on the passenger chair etc. this also suggests to the cop that he
would be rudely infringing on an otherwise "fine and happy" situation.
...as far as getting out of the tickets...they were all somewhat blatant
violations right in front of the cops...knowingly exercised by me - sort of
testing them i guess:) but the key to my plan is two-fold, first slap your
head as if to say (im such an idiot) when he's still in his patrol car...he
WILL see you "beating yourself up over it"...next...when he gets out of his
car....roll down window quickly and put both hands on top of the steering
wheel and keep them there. this puts mr. cop at ease in a big way!!(if i
were a copper i imagine i'd be scared each and every time walking up to some
stranger's car)...so then when he arrives and asks for papers, get them and
keep your hands up there...then when he gives you an opportunity for your
excuse....dont give him one...act sort of like you've pretty much resigned
yourself to getting a ticket...it gives him the chance to feel good in
surprising you by letting you off. i always say, "sorry, i guess i just
wasnt paying attention"...and mildly shake your head in shame.
...i even got out of running a stop sign! amazin'!
drsebby. (whose cable mistakenly went unpaid and cut off, immediately paid,
and now waiting TWO FUCKING weeks for a reconnection appointment!!!!). using
dial-up for a bit:) it blows big time.
----Original Message Follows----
From: "L' Ermit" <lhermit@hotmail.com>
Reply-To: virus@lucifer.com
To: virus@lucifer.com
Subject: virus: Avoiding unwanted attention
Date: Tue, 22 Jan 2002 13:15:19 -0600
[Kalkor observed]
Sounds about like my state's highway patrol list of behaviors to watch out
for, because they indicate illegal activity may be taking place. This list
includes:
Speeding
Driving too slow
Driving exactly the speed limit
one of Bart Simpson's favorite lines comes to mind here...
[Hermit notes] To avoid unwanted attention drive 2-5 miles over the limit
and "guilty" drop to exactly the limit when you "notice" them.
[Hermit] That way you are seen to be an alert driver, who was technically
"infringing the law", yet "respectful" of the officers, and insufficiently
concerned about being stopped to be unlikely to be involved in anything more
serious. In addition, in most jurisdictions that is too little to attract a
ticket anyway, and going through the hassle of a stop and warn is usually
more hassle than an officer is interested in.
[Hermit] If the cops are feeling "badass" or "interested" they will follow
you just a little bit too closely for comfort, because they know that if you
are feeling even a little bit guilty about anything, that they will spook
you into making silly mistakes. Put the radio onto a classical station and
think pure thoughts (but not so deeply that you miss giving a turn-signal)
and they will likely pass you by.
Regards
Hermit
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DrSebby.
"Courage...and shuffle the cards".
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