From: Mermaid . (britannica@hotmail.com)
Date: Wed Jan 09 2002 - 15:43:56 MST
[Michelle]And to Mermaid: integrity - Kind of the same question. With
love, there's a payoff (hopefully), a blissful state of trust and
contentment. Some would ask if integrity will keep you warm at night, but
love won't either without a physical presence. So my next question to you
would be whether there is some state reached, of alignment with something,
satisfaction with a life well-lived. Is there a validation, where you know
you've done it right? A result?
[Michelle]I suppose I'm thinking about whether it's childish or unevolved to
want a result.
[Mermaid]No, it is not. All of us act upon some expectation of result. Do
what you set out to do, but do not imagine that your expectations of the
results will always match the reality of the consequences of your action. My
motto: Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.
[Mermaid]What is 'right' and what is 'wrong'? Who decides what is right and
what is wrong? I guess...if it feels right, it cant be wrong. But this
applies only when you are evaluating your own behaviour and decisions.
Beliefs are precious and nothing else really matters. Integrity is that glue
which binds your actions to your beliefs. But the most important belief of
all should be that one can always trip and fall. That would make one tread
very carefully.
[Michelle]I can agree with integrity being up there with love, but it seems
like an austere life, to only satisfy the self.
[Mermaid]To me and I speak only for myself..integrity of thought and action
reflects and spills into every other aspect of my life...I think..prizing
integrity over love does not imply the complete absence of love. Dont you?
Love is not about 2 people. It is always about the self. To love someone is
a selfish decision. One doesnt love the strange looking cello player at the
subway or the faceless, random guy who delivers mail. One usually falls in
love with someone who either completes them or complements them or resembles
them. Love, as an addiction, is a totally different ball game. Even then,
dont you think that addiction is also an act that satisfies the self?
[Michelle]Is the person striving for love a slave to pack/herd/tribe
emotional belonging motivations? Is the person who strives for integrity
and cares for love only secondarily more evolved?
[Mermaid]I dont see how you came to have that doubt. There is nothing high
about striving for integrity that belittles the emotion called love. I think
its all the same. It is all about making one feel good about oneself.
[Michelle]Perhaps I'm giving away too much and revealing that I'm a wreck
without validation, and to me the result phase of love is the validation
that you're doing it [life] right.
[Mermaid]Maybe your life experiences have been different from mine.
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