From: Bill Roh (billroh@churchofvirus.com)
Date: Wed Jan 02 2002 - 15:03:39 MST
I wasn't, but now I feel that I must or my soul will be forever tarnished!
1 I have been in a porn movie: I have video taped and photographed a love
sessionor two, but never knowingly distributed them.
2 I have never been in a porn movie: See above
3 I don't think that the ladies of the CoV deserve the starring roll in a
film about the sex-goddesses of the millennium: I am sure that some of them do - and
there are some I would love to watch in such a film. Can this be a big lesbian love
scene?
4 I'm gay: No - I like only one penis, and it is MINE. It's very beautiful
too.
5 I'm bi: No - see above
6 I'm celibate: Not by choioce
7 I'm a hermaphrodite: No, but I met one for the first time the other day -
kinda strange
8 I'm a fetishist: Sure
9 I'm a masochist: To a point - one must suffer to grow
10 I'm a sadist: naw
11 I'm a virgin: nope
12 I'm into bestiality: not really, but to each his own
13 I'm into "water sports": no
14 I'm into B&D (top): Sure
15 I'm into B&D (bottom). Sure
16 I'm into B&D (whatever). Sure
17 My genitalia are pierced: no
18 I have no piercings: no
19 I'm a pornographer: no
20 I'm a member of NAMBLA: no
21 I have artificial body parts: no
22 I'm actually not the gender you think I am. I suppose that depends what
gender you think I am
23 I like to watch: yes
24 I like you to watch. Dont care, you can watch if you like
25 I find unsafe sex very stimulating: There is safe sex?
26 I sleep with squids: Not yet
27 I have sex with squids: If they have nice breasts, then no problem
28 I have never had sex with a squid: No way man, that beak is sharp!
29 I have a thing for corn-cobs: not really, although I am not opposed to using
them on others
30 I have a thing for corn-cobs and preparation H: If you can't get it slick
yourself, you have no place playing with sex toys!
31 I never worked out what people meant when they talked about hamsters and
duct-tape: I know exactly what they mean, oh wait, I have no idea
32 I knew immediately what was meant when people talked about hamsters and
duct-tape. alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.hamsters.duct.tape is my favorite: Thanks
for the link
Usenet channel
33 I'm sterile: Nope, proved it aobut a year ago
34 I'm pregnant: No, but my wife may be
35 I don't believe in sex before marriage: That is, if you never plan on good
sex. If you want a healthy sex life after marriage, get lots of practive before you
get married.
36 I look better in your clothes than you do: I look better than any other male
- I am the Perfect Male
37 I'm still obsessed with my dead lover: I have no known dead lovers, I am
obsessed with many of my old, living lovers.
38 I killed my last boyfriend/girlfriend: I should have
39 I'm HIV positive: I am positive I do not have HIV
40 I've got herpes: I don't have those either
41 Underage? What is that? I don't really like young women, I like em 30+ and
to know what they want
42 I'm underage: nope
43 I'm still in high school. nope
44 I'm a homophobe. Only when they are armed and looking at me with the "I want
you " look.
45 I come from a close family. A VERY close family. Yes
46 I'm an exhibitionist. I expose myself not because I want other people to see
my god-like physique, but because I do not care and like the feeling of the breeze
on my scrote
47 My entire body is shaved: not right now
48 I'm wearing a wig: nope
49 I'm wearing a toupee. nope
50 I'm going in for hair implants. nope - what kinda man would do that anyway -
implants - neutering - whats the difference? A man is NOT concerned with his
hairline - a half man might be. And yes, I CHOSE baldness for a while so I know what
it is like.
51 I'm impotent: Only when confronted by another penis. I must admit, dicks are
a real turn off!
52 The doctor told me it wouldn't grow back, but we can get beyond that,
can't we? Sure
53 I'm a girl scout. I like girl scout cookies and I like that the girlscouts
are not a bunch of racist, god fearing, jackasses like the Boy Scouts (AKA - Little
Nazis Of America)
54 I'm married: Happily
55 I'm divorced: I tried, she wouldn't let me
56 I'm engaged: Warp 9 sir!
57 I collect frogs: I collect toad skins for later consumption
58 I have a 24-hour web-cam in my bedroom: It's a lie - I DO NOT
59 I have been psychoanalyzed: I caused a psychoanalyst to break down into
tears, get on his knees, and worship me as the most stable, sensible and well
balanced human in all of existance. I am the control against which the rest of you
are measured.
60 I am a psychoanalyst: you said "anal" huh huh - huh huh huh
61 I have amnesia: I have advanced CRS, I cant remember the word for it.
62 I have hemorrhoids: no
63 I've got a brain tumor: That might explain my incredible paranormal powers
64 I'm receiving treatment for my psychopathic rages: I sneak in to hospitals
so that I can get in fights with people who have rage problems. They are the only
people I can trust to give it their all!
65 I believe in self-medication: Oh yes - as long as psychedelic drugs are
considered medication
66 I'm on medication: nope
67 I'm on a LOT of medication. nope, but many of those around me are driven to
them
68 I'm off my medication: no meds here
69 I disapprove of drugs: I disapprove of people doing drugs and then blaming
the drug for their poor behaviour.
70 Did you ever see Psycho? Oh yes
71 Did you ever read Oedipus Rex? No
72 I'm my own evil twin. No, that's the other me
73 I hate my family. I love my family
74 I like the French. I hate the French - If I had just one big bomb that I had
to drop - bye bye French pussies! Just don't give em time to run away, they are good
at surrendering and fleeing battles,running from fights,slapping instead strong
words, bad mouthing good women. Let's face it, the French are a disgrace to the
entire Race, and if they were one of the other apes instead of human, they would
disgrace them as well. I can't believe that the British didn't puyt an end to them
hundreds of years ago.
75 I am French: You pussy
76 I have a severe physical reaction to sunlight: Yep, after many hours, I burn
a little. Of course, the Sun has to close it's eyes when I am out - such is the
light of my being!.
77 I'm an alcoholic: No, but alcoholics are easy and fun in the sac
78 I'm bulimic: no
79 My drinking problem is almost under control. No, I still spill it all over
myself, fortunately the light and power of my being vaporizes whatever falls upon
me.
80 I'm a kleptomaniac. nope
81 I'm epileptic. nope
82 I'm a hemophiliac. nope
83 I have used the phrase "Evolution is *only* a theory: never
84 I have attempted to defend "creationism": never - but I have defended
creationists
85 I believe that bathing destroys crucial body oils. As well as the Russians
are after my Purity of Essence
86 I never sleep. I sleep all I can, I like it
87 I sleep hanging from a hook. If necessary
88 I sleep fully clothed. NEVER - I only sleep absolutely naked
89 I squeeze the toothpaste tube from the top. no - and don't do it in my house
90 I keep my phone calls very short because my mother might call at any
time. I love my mother, but I do not let any person monopolize my time except for my
son
91 I flunked credit counseling. Yes
92 I studied psychology Sure
93 I studied psychiatry A little
94 I am a cartoonist. no
95 I work in the game industry. no
96 I have no friends. I have many friends, and many more who wish they were - I
often times have to turn them away.
97 I'm a day-trader. At times
98 I'm in therapy. I am a control subject for the practice
99 I maketh my living at the Renaissance Pleasure Faire. That's for faeries
100 I made all my clothes. No, but I would if I had the time, inclination, and
gave up my masculinity
101 I'm a compulsive gambler. I like to gamble, I am good at it, and I win a
lot.
102 I'm a compulsive penny-pincher. Despite my incredible strength, I have never
been able to pinch a penny in such a way as to reduce it's size - but I hear a train
can do it.
103 I majored in physical education I majored in educating my girlfriends in the
benefits of physical relationships.
104 I majored in philosophy I speak to many people that have, when they return
to earth, I'll let you know.
105 I taught myself everything I know: I may have tought you everything you
know, but not everything I know.
106 I have not read a book since I got out of high school. I took up reading
after high school - I wanted accurate info.
107 I have used the expression "They laughed at the (fill in space here
[often the Wright Bros]) too" I have not used such an expression, probably because
know one laughs at me within earshot.
108 I love all Microsoft products. You bet, they have been responsible for a
large percentage of my income
109 I use a Mac: as a boat anchor
110 I use a Commodore PET: no
111 I am Everett E Allie Who?
112 I think Jerry Lewis is funny. I thought Jerry Lewis was funny when I was 6 -
and that Dean Martin, boy can he sing!
113 I think Britney Spears can sing. I don't even think she is good lookin -
maybe I would if I was 14. Maturity - I WANT MATURITY
114 I attend John Tesh concerts I would love to beat up John Tesh in front of
his audience - all female of course as no real man will calim to like him
115 I collect beanie babies. My son likes to chew on em
116 I know all the words to Mr Rodgers' songs. So what
117 I really like Barney. I would like to see Barney and the Grimace go at it -
here is a comic on the subject - do the first, then the second link.
http://www.spacemoose.com/strips/grimace.gif
http://www.spacemoose.com/strips/bulbous.gif
118 That Garth Brooks, what a genius! What a dumb ass - made for dumb chicks and
dumb dudes.
119 That Rush Limbaugh, what a genius! Evil genius maybe.
120 That Al Sharpton, what a genius! Ya got me there
121 I'm a drug dealer. I have NEVER EVER sold a drug in my life. Given away,
thats a different thing entirely.
122 I'm still stalking my ex. No, but I should, she is HOT!
123 I own stock in a tobacco company. Nope
124 I'm a tax evader. Nope
125 I'm a deadbeat parent. Nope, Im a great parent
126 I'm a member of the Russian nobility in hiding. nope
127 I'm a republican. Yes, I am a Republican - hopefully here to give some
balance to the party. I have never voted republican.
128 I'm a libertarian. Used to be, but I found out that they were a bunch of dim
witted, "Me first" shitheads with no sense of responsibility.
129 I'm a white supremacist. Whites are not supreme. I am supreme and happen to
be white.
130 I believe the X-Files is a documentary. Yea, and how come Fox Moulder works
on all the Jewish holidays?
131 I'm a carnivore. Oh yes
132 I'm a devout vegetarian. No, I like food - and for all you vegetarians out
there - what the hell, don't you think plants have feelings?!? Speciest!
133 Mmm, tofu. Tofu in quantity causes brain damage - a fact left out of
vegetarian cook books. Maybe they forgot.
134 I believe coffee making is a sacred ritual. No, it's just coffee.
135 I think coffee is evil. No, it's just coffee
136 I'm Catholic. I have two uncles in the Priesthood, does that count?
137 I'm a recovering Catholic. Naw
138 I'm a Hasidic jew. I am asidic towards Hasidic Jews. Maybe I can walk on the
same side of the street when God isn't watching.
139 I am a communist. No, competition brings out the best in people, forced
cooperation makes em wussies - if you disagree, head on over to one of the few
remaining communist countries.
140 I think Stalin really had the right idea. Sure, fewer mouths to feed - who
ever needed all them laborers anyway. And in case anyone made it this far - I am
joking. I have great animosity towards the actions of Stallin.
141 I believe George "Dubya" Bush is the greatest American President ever: The
man is a moron, I can't believe you feel that way Hermit!
142 The Bible is the literal truth. No, I made it up then, and it is still all a
lie.
143 God tells me what to do. It's true that most people consider me a God, but I
do not give direct orders to anyone. I support free will.
144 I'm a member of a cult that doesn't think you're a human being. I am sure
everyone here is human or avatar.
145 I'm a scientologist. No, I have an IQ over 100 and money less that
1,000,000. So I am not allowed.
146 I believe in reincarnation and you're looking awfully familiar. You look
familiar because I am immortal and have seen you before.
147 I'm a drug addict. no
148 I'm a recovering drug addict . no
149 I belong to an ethnic group which is currently at war with yours in our
homeland. I have no identifiable ethnic group.
150 I sleep with a gun under my pillow. sometimes, her name is Jenny and she is
a model l66 Stainless Steel .357 revolver.
151 I'm a member of the NRA. Used to be
152 I have a Rottweiler. no
153 I was in the military. no
154 I'm still in the military. no
155 I'm in another country's military. no
156 I'm a spy. no
157 I know more about you than you do. yes, in all cases
158 The voices in my head say I should kill you, but I think I can ignore
them this time. There are no voices in my head - where would the mouth go?
159 I refuse to speak English in the home. True, i mutter incoherently
160 I really need a green card. nope
161 I'm in this country illegally.. Nope
162 I am Osoma bin Laden: no
163 I gave Osoma bin Laden his instructions: no
164 I did time. no
165 I'm on parole. no
166 I'm moving to Tobago tomorrow. um - sounds nice.
167 I'm homeless. no
168 I'm burning my house and seeding the ground with salt tomorrow. nope
169 I burnt my house down nope
170 I live in a house made of straw. sometimes
…
Space for additional admissions to be inserted sequentially (or wherever
they fit - particularly when well lubricated).
...
666 Hermit is the personification of Eeevil - No, I have met Hermit. He is, you
are, decidedly one of the good ones, most the time!
Bill
now - no one ever ask me another question again unless it's something like - "How
can I get you in bed?" or "Can you last 8 hours like Sting?".
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.1.5 : Wed Sep 25 2002 - 13:28:37 MDT
